Here's one about potty training...
This one isn't gross, it's just... frustrating. š¤¦š¾āāļø
Friends,Ā
Potty training is hard.Ā
I don't remember my own experience at all. I thank god for that, though I'm sure I handled it spectacularly well without any regressions, tantrums, or full-blown panic attacks. I bet I was a total pro.*
My son, on the other hand, is struggling a bit. It's taking longer than the overly optimistic (naive?) expectation Jess and I set for ourselves to get him through it. For the record, we assumed it would only take a week. I think it's been three, but it feels like six months.Ā
My wife has probably the coolest head I've ever seen about stuff like this. When he's had an accident and comes to tell her, the tone of her voice never wavers off of beautifully high-pitched and cheery. She never shows any frustration and ensures he feels safe for having told her.Ā
On the other hand, I wear my panic on my face for the whole world to see. It definitely doesn't help that, after telling me the news, Nico chooses to run around the house screaming like he's playing tag with me on the playground. Except, instead of tapping me on the arm and proclaiming "you're it," he runs up, taps me on the arm, and says, "dada, I just filled my diaper with a mess so offensive that you're surely going to fall asleep tonight thinking about."** He then hauls off screaming maniacally. The chase always ends with me pulling him by the ankles out from under our bed, throwing him over my shoulder, and changing him as he actively tried to disrupt the process.Ā
And that is one of the good times. The bad ones get ugly.Ā
The good news is, for #1s, he's going in the potty almost every time. It's the other twice-daily event he's struggling with.Ā
I am also working on my reaction. I'm worried that when my boy sees the frustration on my face, he thinks it is aimed at him. To his credit, how on earth would he know that my reaction is rooted in frustration with myself, that I fear I am failingĀ himĀ entirely.Ā
As I said, potty training is hard. There are a lot of emotions, and, for some, it takes time. More than anything, I am so proud of his attitude towards the whole thing. He rebounds quickly from the infrequent meltdowns and keeps at it despite the accidents.Ā
He's the absolute best and will figure this out. Now I've just got to work on my resting-stressed-face.Ā
The MF BookshelfĀ
Iām still on a reading hiatus as Iām in the middle of a particularly busy work moment. So, instead of what Iām reading (which is nothing at the moment), Iām listing whatās on my reading list for the remainder of the year:
The Mom Test: How to talk to customers & learn in your business is a good idea when everyone is lying to you, Rob Fitzpatrick
The Founderās Dilemmas: Anticipating and Avoiding the Pitfalls That Can Sin a startup, Noam Wasserman
Itās OK That Youāre Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesnāt Understand, Megan Devine
Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot, Mikki Kendall
The Vanishing Half, Brit Bennett
By Yourself the Fucking Lilies: And other rituals to fix your life, from someone who ās been there, Tara Schuster
When Women Invented Television, Jennifer Keishin Armstrong
Hitlerās First Hundred Days, Peter Fritzsche
Say Nothing: A true story of murder and memory in Northern Ireland
*Ā I can imagine my mother rolling her eyes as she read that paragraph.
** He actually just says ādada, Nico poo-poo in pantsā in an incredibly sweet voice.