It's finally happened... I'm a dad.
A dad is different from a father... here's how I recently earned the title of the former
Friends,
I've finally made it. I'm a dad.
This should come as no surprise, given that I have dedicated my writing, social media posting, and the start of every conversation I engage in to shamelessly promote my wife and children. But all of that alone doesn't give someone the title of dad. Yes, I became a father when my son and daughter were born. However, in so many ways, I remained the young entrepreneur flying high with an undying love for music festivals, exclusive tables at nightclubs, and backstage access at just about everything from a private concert to a Denny's at 4am (where I was once actually "allowed" to cook my own Big Texas Chicken Fajita Skillet in the kitchen, considerably inebriated*).
In that first year of my son's life alone, I traveled back-and-forth between Vegas and New York every two weeks, produced a music conference, and launched a morning concert series. Yes, I was a father, but I was not quite yet a dad.
Then it happened, almost in a flash. I realized the magnitude of the shift this morning as I celebrated to my wife my having successfully secured no less than three replacement products utilizing their warranties (a Dutailier Glider that was squeaking, a S'well water bottle that wouldn't open due to a broken top, and, finally, a three-piece Calphalon pot and pan set that had disintegrated after a year of use). All three products were replaced at no cost besides the four hours spent on the phone and in heavy email correspondence with various support staffers.
Was that enough to bless me with the dad badge of honor? Absolutely not. On top of that, I managed to fix two TVs, hand scrubbed an area rug in our living room, and reorganized two full closets with new shelves, all in a single weekend while listening to Baby Shark 200 times in a row.
I strut around the house, toolbox in hand, like the king of the castle these days, not in charge of anything per se, but as the person in charge of keeping our abode from physically disintegrating.
I am no longer thinking about music festivals as much as I am thinking about what the licensing rights would look like to launch a Baby Shark themed festival for kids (3 days, Central Park, giant Ferris wheel, and a mixology tent with handmade juices and a crayon menu with 1,000 color options). It's not that I have given up anything I was previously passionate about; it's just shifted a bit in tandem with my perspective.
Things will change over time, I imagine. Jess and I will want to get away without the kids, and the kids will one day want to get away without their parents. Until then, I'm going to dedicate the next month to planning our first post-pandemic family trip to Disney's Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge**. While there, I absolutely plan on landing us backstage passes and do everything possible to get bottle service at Oga's Cantina.
I was not forced to give up my youth. I gladly handed the baton over to the next generation of aspiring rock stars in favor of a new attitude. I am still young, an entrepreneur, a dreamer, and a believer in the power of human connections. On top of that, I have the beautiful voices of two young kiddos enveloping my every move while one specific children's song serves as the endless soundtrack to my life as it rattles around in my head.
I am a dad, and I am loving every second of it.
01. Vaccine Updates
President Biden announced that he hit his first 100-day vaccination distribution goals in just over half the time and is now doubling the target number to 200 million. States across the country just lowered the accessibility threshold to anyone over 30 years old. With Spring in full swing, it's starting to feel a lot like, well, it used to.
That said, according to Morning Brew, "12 individuals or organizations are responsible for up to 65% of all anti-vaccine content circulating on major social media platforms, per the Center for Countering Digital Hate." This is terrifying given how broad-spread anti-vaccine sentiment has been in recent years.
The takeaway: Don't be hostile with anti-vaxxer friends and family, but do your best to be a source of positive influence and education. We now know the level of the disinformation effort we are up against, and we all need to play a role in combatting it.
02. Temper Tantrums (by Adults)
According to the New York Times, temper tantrums happen with adults who get frustrated with their kids. At some point, we will all snap at them, raise our voices, maybe lose a bit of control, and likely feel terrible about it after. The article gives a good series of steps to employ when apologizing to your kids while still maintaining control over the conversation. As quoted in the article:
“There is this kind of expectation that children should be protected from feeling any negative emotion,” said Jennie Hudson, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of New South Wales in Australia. “But that’s toxic positivity. It’s not normal; it’s not OK. We have a range of emotions that include feeling frustrated, anxious and worried.”
The takeaway: The pandemic has added a whole new level of anxiety to our baseline existence, so it's not surprising that we may lose it from time to time. Physical violence or emotional abuse is never OK ever. Still, we shouldn't beat ourselves up for losing our temper from time to time. Showing our emotions is incredibly valuable to children as they mature.
03. Suicide Risk in Teens
I've touched on this topic quite a bit over the past couple of months. Still, there was a great article in The Washington Post about things parents can do to decrease the suicide risk in their teens. Please take a moment to read it.
The takeaway: Suicide rates have been steadily rising in teens for years, and the pandemic has exacerbated that to terrifying levels. Don't wait until you start seeing the signs. Assume that your children will, at some point, go through some depressive moments in their young adult life and actively work to prepare them for it. This article is an excellent place to start.
04. I’m Losing My Mind Here
No, seriously, this is absolutely a cry for help… I can't listen to Baby Shark again. I just can't do it. There are now 30+ different remixes of the same fucking song, hundreds (thousands?) of videos, and countless singing stuffed baby sharks. Please send help.
The takeaway: Seriously, is there anyone out there who knows how to break this cycle? Am I destined to live in baby shark hell for the next several years? A social media follower said her kids were listening to it still at ages 4 and 5. How am I suppose to handle another 5 years of this shit???
05. The MF Bookshelf
Currently Reading: Triumph of the City, Edward L. Glaeser
Currently Reading: The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and body in the Healing of Trauma, Bessel van der Kolk
On deck: The Vanishing Half, Brit Bennett
Just finished: Range, David Epstein
Watching: Cobra Kai Season 2
If you like what you read today and know someone who would benefit as well, please share!
*Totally f**king wasted.
**This is the first my wife is hearing about this plan.